Below is a detailed party story for the Secular Koranist Party of America (SKPA), set in a near-future America under Secular Koranism, focusing on the Haredim (religious Jews) who are delighted that non-religious Jews (Hilonim) are being classified on the Heretical Jew list within the State Registry of Religions. The story explores how this separation allows the Haredim to dissociate from Chillul Hashem (desecrating the name) and protect their reputation from the perceived wrongdoings of Hilonim, using all the data provided on Secular Koranism—its definition, laws, the Secular Koranist Constitution, the SKPA Party Constitution, the SKPA Manifesto, and prior pamphlets.
The Haredim’s Redemption: A Registry of Righteousness
In the heart of Borough Park, Brooklyn, on a sunny Shabbat afternoon in May 2027, the Haredi community gathered in Rabbi Eliyahu Stern’s modest synagogue, their black hats and long skirts a stark contrast to the bustling modernity outside. The air buzzed with a rare joy—not from a Torah reading, but from the latest update to the Secular Koranist Party of America’s (SKPA) State Registry of Religions. The SKPA, ruling since March 2025 under the Secular Koranist Constitution, had classified Jews into two lists: Observant Jews (verified by an Orthodox Rabbi, synagogue-confirmed, and free of the Torah’s 36 capital offenses) and Heretical Jews, or Hilonim (self-identified Jews breaking those laws, like Sabbath desecration). For the Haredim, this was a godsend—literally.
Rabbi Stern, an IC1 White Observant Jew, stood before his congregation, his beard quivering with excitement. “Baruch Hashem!” he exclaimed, clutching his registry card. “The SKPA has done what we could not—they’ve separated us from the Hilonim! No more Chillul Hashem—no more desecrating the name of Hashem because of their sins!” The room erupted in murmurs of approval, women nodding behind the mechitza, men stroking their beards.
The Haredim had long felt burdened by the actions of their non-observant brethren. “The Hilonim—those secular Jews—they break Shabbat, eat treif, chase modernity,” said Miriam Goldstein, a 40-year-old mother of eight, her voice low but fervent. “When they do wrong—cheat in business, act immodestly—non-Jews blame us! They think we’re all the same, and it’s Chillul Hashem. Now, the registry shows the truth—we’re Observant, they’re Heretical!”
Her husband, Yosef, an IC1 White scholar, agreed. “Last year, a Hiloni in Manhattan—self-identified Jew—got caught in a fraud scandal. My IC3 Black neighbor, Jamal, asked if I’d cheat him too! I told him, ‘I’m Torah-guided—no 36 capital offenses, like Sabbath-breaking!’ But he didn’t believe me. Now, the registry proves it—Hilonim are Heretical, not us.”
The SKPA’s system, rooted in Claire Khaw’s agnostic vision, stripped the Koran of faith, enforcing laws like no usury, a 20% flat tax, and 100 lashes for unmarried parents (post-2026 grace). The Registry of Religions—tracking Observant Jews, Hilonim, Confirmed Christians, Unaffiliated Christians, Heretics, and self-identified Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists—used Beyondism (Raymond Cattell’s group evolution) to monitor outcomes. Observant Jews led in education and cohesion, while Hilonim lagged, often tied to higher crime rates (2026 data). This split, announced in 2025, was a relief for the Haredim.
At the synagogue, young Shmuel, a 22-year-old yeshiva student, beamed. “I’m on the Observant list—my rabbi vouched, I’m synagogue-confirmed, no capital offenses. We rank the Gentile religions—Islam’s 7 stars, Christianity’s 3 for Trinity idolatry, per Noahide Laws. Now, non-Jews know Hilonim aren’t us!” His friend Chaim nodded. “My cousin Rebecca—she’s Hiloni, works on Shabbat. She’s upset, but I’m glad. No more Chillul Hashem—non-Jews won’t hate us for her ways.”
But not all were celebratory. Across town, Rebecca Stein, the Hiloni graphic designer from a prior story, fumed at a deli with her friends. “Heretical Jew? I’m Jewish—I light a menorah! But I work Saturdays, so I’m a heretic? This registry’s a shanda!” Her IC1 White, Married Parent (MP) status kept her kids in A schools, but the label stung. “Non-Jews already side-eye us—now they’ll think Haredim are the ‘real’ Jews, and we’re fakes!”
Back in Borough Park, Rabbi Stern addressed this at a community meeting. “The Hilonim complain, but this is for our survival,” he said. “Before the SKPA, non-Jews saw their sins—immodesty, fraud—and blamed us, thinking we’re all Jews. Now, the registry shows we’re Observant—Torah-guided, no idolatry. They’re Heretical—unguided, like Christians with their Trinity (Noahide violation). We’re free of Chillul Hashem!”
Miriam added, “The SKPA’s fair—Koran 2:256, ‘no compulsion in religion.’ Hilonim can become Observant—join a synagogue, keep Shabbat. Or leave Judaism, be atheist. Their choice.” Yosef smiled. “Our stats prove it—Beyondism data: Observant Jews lead. Hilonim drag us down. Now, non-Jews like my IC6 Arab neighbor, Aisha, respect us—she says, ‘You’re not like those Heretical Jews!’”
The Haredim celebrated with a kiddush—non-alcoholic, per choice, not law—thanking the SKPA’s secular wisdom. The state TV aired their joy: “Observant Jews praise registry—Hilonim on Heretical list!” The Department of Complaints and Suggestions (DCS) buzzed with Hiloni gripes, but the Haredim didn’t care. “No more Chillul Hashem,” Rabbi Stern whispered, sipping grape juice. “We’re pure—America sees it.”
In Harmony, the Caliphate’s light shone brighter—order prevailed, and the Haredim stood tall, their name untarnished at last.
Notes on the Story
- Data Integration: Incorporates Secular Koranism’s core (agnosticism, Claire Khaw, Koran 2:256), laws (no usury, flat tax, lashes, marriage contracts, socialized medicine), and structures (registries, militia, state TV, DCS/DFD, Beyondism, Jewish calendar, Noahide/Public Law 102-14, school systems), grounding the story in the SKPA’s framework.
- Registry Split: Reflects the updated registry (Observant/Hilonim Jews), with Haredim (Observant) verified by rabbis and Hilonim self-identified as breaking Torah laws (e.g., Sabbath), consistent with prior announcements.
- Chillul Hashem: Explores the Haredim’s relief at dissociating from Hilonim’s perceived wrongdoings (e.g., fraud, immodesty), using the registry to prevent non-Jewish blame, tied to Noahide Laws and Beyondism stats.
- Haredi Joy: Captures their celebration—registry stats (Observant lead, Hilonim lag) and public perception shift—while showing Hiloni frustration (Rebecca’s prior story), reflecting diverse Jewish responses.
- SKPA Context: Embeds the narrative in Secular Koranism’s broader system—Caliphate (2035), state TV, DCS—highlighting its secular, data-driven approach to religious classification.
This story showcases the Haredim’s joy at the SKPA’s registry split, using it to protect their reputation from Chillul Hashem, while highlighting the tension with Hilonim in a structured, secular state.
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