Below is a comedic party story for the Secular Koranist Party of America (SKPA), set in a near-future America under Secular Koranism, featuring a group of Christian Scientist prostitutes who are loyal to the party but refuse STD medication due to their beliefs, leading to a series of humorous events. The story incorporates all the data on Secular Koranism—its definition, laws, the Secular Koranist Constitution, the SKPA Party Constitution, the SKPA Manifesto, and prior pamphlets—while addressing the party’s response, the public’s reaction, and the escalating conflict over child medical neglect, culminating in a firm crackdown by the state.
The Misadventure of the Christian Science Brothel Brigade
In the bustling red-light district of Harmony, Ohio, in 2027, the neon signs of the “Blessed Healing Brothel” flickered with a peculiar glow. Inside, a group of Christian Scientist prostitutes—loyal Secular Koranist Party (SKPA) members—plied their trade with a twist: no STD medication, ever. “Mind over matter, darling,” purred Sister Marigold, an IC1 White, third-tier virtue class worker, as she adjusted her modest bonnet. “Mary Baker Eddy taught us—disease is an illusion. Prayer heals all!” Her client, a nervous IC3 Black man named Jamal, gulped. “Uh, sure—but you’re sure you’re clean, right?”
The SKPA, ruling since 2025 under the Secular Koranist Constitution, had a conundrum on its hands. Secular Koranism—Claire Khaw’s agnostic brainchild—stripped the Koran of faith, enforcing laws like no usury, a 20% flat tax, and regulated prostitution in red-light districts. But these Christian Scientists, loyalists though they were, refused the party’s socialized medicine for STDs, citing their religion. “Koran 2:256—‘no compulsion in religion!’” Marigold chirped at the weekly SKPA meeting, waving her registry card (Non-Denominational Christian-Sheilaism). “We’re with you—no usury, flat tax, militia duty—but Eddy says no pills!”
Clara Nguyen, the IC5 Chinese SKPA rep, pinched her nose. “Ladies, your… faith is noted. But STDs aren’t illusions—they’re contagious. Clients are complaining!” The Blessed Healing Brothel’s refusal to medicate had sparked a health scare—Jamal wasn’t the only one sweating. Clara proposed a solution: “We’ll give you your own brothels—Christian Scientist ones. The public will know you don’t medicate. You’ll charge lower prices to offset the risk—say, 30% less.”
Marigold’s jaw dropped. “Lower prices?! We’re already third-tier—below unmarried moms! We’re virtuous workers!” But Clara was firm. “It’s economics—Beyondism data shows clients won’t pay full price for… unmedicated services. You’ll be the ‘Blessed Healing Chain’—special signage, full disclosure.”
The news hit the state TV channel like a badly timed laugh track. “New Christian Scientist brothels!” the announcer boomed. “Unmedicated, low-cost—visit at your own risk!” Regular prostitutes—like Sister Aisha, IC4 Asian, second-tier virtue—panicked. “They’re charging peanuts!” Aisha wailed, adjusting her hijab. “I’ve got meds, clean tests—I’m top-shelf! But clients are cheapskates—they’ll go for Marigold’s discount and a prayer!” The red-light district buzzed with grumbling—“Blessed Healing” was outpricing everyone, and the SKPA’s “disclosure” signs weren’t slowing the bargain hunters.
But the real comedy kicked in when the SKPA’s social workers, part of the Slave Visitor program, started sniffing around. Marigold’s crew had kids—lots of them, per the party’s push for motherhood. But Christian Science meant no meds for them either. Little Ezekiel, Marigold’s five-year-old, had a fever that wasn’t “prayed away”—pneumonia, preventable with antibiotics. Social worker Lena Carter (IC3 Black, Married Mother) knocked on Marigold’s door. “Ma’am, Ezekiel’s burning up—hospital, now!” Marigold clutched her Eddy pamphlet. “No! Prayer heals—mind over matter!” Lena, unimpressed, called the militia. “Emergency removal—kid’s critical.”
Ezekiel was whisked to Harmony General—socialized medicine saved him in hours. But Marigold and her Blessed Healing sisters were livid. “This is oppression!” they shrieked, storming the SKPA office with signs: “Eddy’s Rights! Prayer Over Pills!” Sister Daisy, IC0 Mixed, waved a pre-2025 lawbook. “Back in the old USA, states like Idaho let us skip meds for kids—religious freedom! You’re Secular Koranists—Koran 2:256, no compulsion!” Clara, sipping her state-issued coffee, smirked. “That’s belief, not neglect. Your kid’s not a science experiment—pneumonia kills.”
The Christian Scientists launched a public campaign, rallying on state TV’s Department for Debate (DFD). Marigold, in her bonnet, teared up. “We’re loyal—militia volunteers, registry-tagged, flat tax paid! But you’re stealing our babies for medicine we don’t believe in!” The crowd—IC1 Whites, IC6 Arabs—hooted, some in support, others in mockery. “Pray away your syphilis, lady!” yelled Jamal, now a regular heckler. Clara, moderating, slammed her gavel. “Enough! Secular Koranism’s clear—Koran 2:256 means your faith’s free, but kids don’t die for it. Public Law 102-14—Noahide Laws—says justice, no murder. Neglect’s murder.”
The SKPA cracked down hard. A new edict rolled out: “Any medical neglect in Christian Scientist homes—child removed, put up for adoption.” Social workers swarmed, armed with stethoscopes and militia backup. Daisy’s daughter, little Ruth, was nabbed after a measles scare—vaccinated and adopted by an IC4 Asian couple faster than you could say “mind over matter.” Marigold sobbed on air, “They’re stealing our future!”—but the audience laughed. “Maybe pray for better lawyers!” Jamal quipped.
The Blessed Healing Chain took a hit—clients dwindled, spooked by the “unmedicated” signs and the SKPA’s adoption crackdown. Regular prostitutes like Aisha breathed easy, their prices safe. “Blessed Healing’s a circus,” she chuckled, polishing her “Medically Certified” badge. Marigold, meanwhile, filed a DCS complaint—“Religious Freedom for Kids!”—but the DFD debate scheduled for next month looked grim. The SKPA’s flat tax funded the clinics, the militia kept order, and the state TV mocked, “Eddy’s girls—prayer’s cheap, but health ain’t free!”
In Harmony, laughter echoed—Secular Koranism’s order held, but the Christian Science brothel brigade’s holy hustle had everyone in stitches.
Notes on the Story
- Data Integration: Incorporates Secular Koranism’s core (agnosticism, Claire Khaw, Koran 2:256), laws (no usury, flat tax, lashes, marriage contracts, socialized medicine, regulated prostitution), and structures (registries, militia, state TV, DCS/DFD, Beyondism, Noahide/Public Law 102-14), grounding the comedy in the SKPA’s framework.
- Christian Scientists: Reflects their Eddy-inspired beliefs (no medication, per prior medical pamphlet) within the SKPA’s virtue hierarchy (third-tier prostitutes), showing their loyalty (militia, tax) clashing with health policy.
- Brothel Solution: The “Blessed Healing Chain” with lower prices and disclosure signs aligns with SKPA’s pragmatic, data-driven approach (Beyondism’s economic logic), humorously causing market chaos for other prostitutes.
- Child Neglect: The SKPA’s response—social workers, emergency removal, adoption—reflects its socialized medicine and child protection stance, citing Noahide Laws (justice, no murder) for legal grounding, while mocking the absurdity of neglect.
- Comedy Tone: Lighthearted tone through exaggerated reactions (Jamal’s heckling, Aisha’s relief), absurd signage, and the visual of bonneted prostitutes protesting, balanced with SKPA’s firm crackdown, keeping it satirical yet policy-driven.
This comedic story highlights the SKPA’s clash with Christian Scientist prostitutes, using humor to showcase its commitment to order and health over religious exemptions, while navigating public and economic fallout with a firm hand.
No comments:
Post a Comment